Re;

You have traveled so far
With that load on your back
With that big healing scar
That no one knows where it came from

You just paused and rethink
Is it still worth to live for?
You just stopped and rethink
Is it worth dying for?

Then you begin to dream and imagine
All that is left in the ashes of your wish
No one is smiling and hearts are aching
Thoughts explode behind your passing

It hurts you more
Knowing you cannot do it
It bleeds you more
Knowing you are afraid

It doesn’t get worse when you do nothing
It doesn’t get better when you do the same thing
Stranded between here to there
Seeking what it is left to bear

You let the flow to get you to elsewhere
Distracting you from your own senses
But when you get aware of where you are
It drowns you deep back to the bottom

Rinse and repeat is the way you live
Every day is another story you need to finish
It will never end unless you do it yourself
And you cannot. You just cannot.

Restart;

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*jvanooffee

Same Sea

Remembering what the years gave me
I kept going back to the same sea
Not lost, but confused
Spirit bounded with no use

I had the chance and will to aspire
Bliss and amity are what transpired
Impetuously I failed to sustain
And now I scheme to save what remains

If fate forbids me to be with joy
Let it be, I’m just a boy
Numerous have said that I am worth
But the restless soul would not go forth

Every night gets darker and colder
Shades and shadows make me cower
Every step is a mile to walk
Dancing as a prey of any foolish hawk

Light is vague, so is hope
Beyond the infinity, against my scope
In this sea, I float among the waves
Tossed and sprayed, nothing can be saved

A smile to my face is glued
A bright crescent in a night of blue
This cheery façade locks the insane
Tightening the same old chains

Tangled thoughts flow out of my head
Strangling me down to my own bed
Irrepressible it is like lightning passing
Seeking what is must, what is missing

Clocks are ticking, among I am living
From where I sat, birds are chirping
Plots are laid, paths turn and bend
Poems are written, so is this end.

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*jvanooffee

Blame

As shadows take over the dark cold night
As nightmares start changing dreams into fright
I wandered through the path of endless fear
Of sinful cheer and of eternal tears

I thought it would be just fine
So free and young, holding on the line
In a world so small, our roads should’ve crossed
Could’ve meet halfway, but I just got lost

After bliss, I vanish existence
Slowly I faded my own perseverance
But yes, I tried my best to carry on
Surviving, barely, and then it was gone

In light, I melt into humility
In haze, I suspect my own dignity
I blindly used my pride to hurt your heart
A life I ruined, breaking it apart

In confusion, I failed my promised quest
In hunger and war, I doubt my own test
A downfall of legacy I will wear
A mistake so infinite I will bear

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*jvanooffee

L&B: Waiting Nothing

It was all he needed.

See more in: Lines & Between

*jvanooffee

Coffee Vinyl

Noontime with you
After lunch coffee we go
Frazzled, I am in blue
You wear gray, old show
Smell of roast fills the air
Dim lights, old frames, vinyl song
In a glass table, square we share
A place we always longed
Mine is latte, bitter and milk
Yours is mocha, cream and sweet
A time together smooth like silk
Where old caffeine and rusty music do meet

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*jvanooffee

A Lifetime of Self

It takes a lifetime to realize life
The self will just know when it will arrive
Long is the road towards soul’s worth
And until now, my self only knows worse

Ever since I started I never understand
The why’s and the how’s of being the self
It pains me to learn and to satisfy demand
With no one to hold and no answers with help

My lifetime has been all about this load
Resting and growing, in my shoulder it shouts
I barely survived crossing deadly roads
In a game where I can never be out

The self wants to fight and continue to walk
But the mind, the body, the soul begs to stop
The heart is silent with reasons to talk
The evil is edging, waiting for time is up

Life  is for those who are fit and strong
Those who are someone, beings of light
Me, I am no one. Always on the wrong
Burning out of life, trying to make right

It takes a lifetime to realize life
And the self will just know when it will never arrive

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*jvanooffee

Weaving Stories

An awesome story of life awaits in every face you’ll meet. A story where you’ll have a role, long or short, big or small. Same for them having a role as you write them in your own story. Time can only tell when to stop writing. By then, you’ll realize how intricate, important, and irreplaceable your story is as it weaves through the others’. So, it doesn’t always matter whether they are family, friends, acquaintances, or strangers. It is always about the roles we played in each other’s story.

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*jvanooffee

If Only I Can End

If only I can end the flow of my mind
Doubt will be little and be left behind
The war of thoughts will cease to a truce
With clarity in place, I can finally choose

If only I can end the longing for the lost
I shall sleep and dream all I can exhaust
No more chasing and seeking for long-dead reasons
No more staying and crying on short-lived seasons

If only I can end the noises within
I can forget the feelings I have seen
Never again I will hear my heart
Screaming and begging why it fell apart

If only I can end the painful hate
I would realize soon it was never too late
The thundering beast will learn to be tamed
The cold will freeze what ever is flamed

If only I can end this poem just right
Words will show the way to my light
Where my soul is struggling trying to pretend
Whispering and wishing, if only I can end…

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*jvanooffee